Ghosting
by TuskedLioness
Summary: Elsa is practically invisible. Most of her world is behind the safety of her bedroom door. She only comes out to walk her dog, visit her mailbox and take trips to the grocery store, and always at odd times so that very little people see her. As far as the world knows, she doesn't exist. Until a necessary evil in the form of a roommate might change that. (Modern / Not Related)
1. The Letter

Depending on how one looked at it, Elsa stopped living years ago. She didn't die, but she might as well be dead to the rest of the world. Such a statement was dramatic. Maybe it was poetic. Whichever it was, that was how Elsa felt: Like a ghost. Invisible and silently haunting the world.

It sounded sad but it wasn't. It was better this way. Hiding was safe. The world was safe from her and she was safe from its judgement.

Of course, that was before she needed a roommate.

Elsa sometimes wondered if she should regret it. But also, she could no longer afford to live without one either.

She remembered spending hours typing a Craigslist post, rereading it a thousand times to make sure that it was perfect, and then it took her another few hours to conjure up the nerve to send it off…to the world…where everyone, including the creeps on that website, could see it.

She had surprised herself for getting through it. She remembered how she tried not to twiddle her hands nervously when people toured the house. Most of the guests either smelled bad, made her skin crawl, or she'd slip out of her calm façade, humiliating herself too much to see them again.

It was obvious which roommate she chose. It was the only other person in the house. It was the one whose presence dominated the place, whether it be from items moved out of their spots, her loud feet tramping across the carpet, or her singing to herself as she made dinner. It was Anna.

It had been fourteen hours since Elsa last left her room.

It was now one month since Anna moved in, and this scenario had happened multiple times already. Usually it would last a few hours maximum, but that was because Anna would always leave the house at some point. Today was not that day.

Anna's car remained in the driveway. All day.

A television babbled from downstairs. Elsa tapped her fingers on her desk in nervous impatience.

Her throat was dry. Her mind kept drifting to the leftover taco salad in the fridge. It was probably soggy, but for once she actually looked forward to the moment when she could eat it.

She just hoped that that moment would be soon.

Elsa had once read about people so private that no one would ever see them walk into a bathroom. Elsa was one of those people, if one took that privacy and multiplied it. She didn't eat in front of people, nor did she drink. Most of the things she did were an intimate ritual.

But by God's name…she really needed to eat and drink something. The only good thing to this was that she had a bathroom linked to her room. She couldn't imagine needing to pee along with this too.

Elsa glanced at the clock. It was eleven pm. She sighed.

Surely Anna would go to bed soon, right?

All Elsa could do was wait. As she did, she passed the time by working on an illustration of a snowy mountain. It was for some picture book someone would be self-publishing.

It took over an hour for the TV to become silent. Anna's footsteps sauntering away was the most beautiful sound to enter Elsa's ears.

Just to be safe, she waited another hour, straining her ears to make sure that Anna wasn't awake. When she was sure that Anna was not going to leave her room again, Elsa finally stood up. She snuck downstairs into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out the taco salad. Her mouth watered.

Elsa ate quickly but carefully, as to not make a sound. She discarded the container, then poured herself a large, full glass of water. She gulped it down, then refilled the cup and repeated.

After satisfying her needs, Elsa dragged herself back up to her bedroom. She almost shut the door but stopped. She inched back outside.

Something was on the front of her door.

Furrowing a brow, Elsa studied the piece of paper taped onto it. It was a letter- written in colorful ink and in slightly sloppy handwriting. She peeled the paper off and read it.

_Elsa,_

_Hi! I know this is crazy but I don't think I've seen you since I moved here. My name is Anna. We should meet sometime! (If you want to I mean.)_

_-Anna. Obviously._

Elsa blinked. She stared at it for a moment, eyes blank.

Then the horror hit her. Sweat dripped down her neck.

Did Anna actually think Elsa didn't know her name?! That wasn't even the worst part. Had they actually not ran into each other this entire month? She dug into her memory, hoping to find something. They had met…only two times. The first time being when Anna toured the house and agreed to stay here, and the other being when Elsa gave her the key. Wait…that was it?!

_Of course it was, _she scoffed at herself._ You starved and parched yourself just to not see her today._

Elsa bit her lip. She'd been snubbing Anna so much that she had to _write a letter and tape it to Elsa's door!_ Was she too afraid to text Elsa? Maybe she knew that Elsa rarely used her phone due to having no social life?!

Could Elsa have humiliated herself more? Not only had she humiliated herself, but she was being an awful person!

What should she do? What should she say? The questions only made her feel worse. She went in her room and locked the door, as she always did when she wanted to feel safe.

_Stay calm. Don't feel it. _But she did feel it. The words kept flashing in her mind, renewing the mortified feelings stirring inside her. She felt nauseated, shaking and sweaty like a feverish child.

It took her a while to calm down. She sat up on her bed, and realized that the paper was still in her hand, crumpled from her clenched fist.

Elsa frowned. Not wanting to think about it anymore, Elsa balled the paper up and threw it in the trash. Sleeping it off would hopefully make her forget about it. Hopefully. Not really.

She ended up sleeping very little that night.


	2. Shampoo Punch

It started to rain. It was slightly more than a sprinkle, so in other words, it was nothing. Having lived here in the Olympic Peninsula her entire life, Elsa had been through worse and it was nothing worth heading back home over. She simply pulled her jacket's hood over her head, which glittered from the droplets it collected. The emergency umbrella wasn't needed.

Olaf, on the other hand, had no care about it. He ran about the field as he blew off steam, sniffing tree trunks and chasing after birds until they flew away. Elsa whistled.

"Olaf!" Elsa lifted a decent-sized stick from the ground. She tossed it across the field.

Olaf was after it immediately. He skittered on his tiny legs as fast as he could to catch it. He scooped it in his jaws and headed back towards Elsa.

"Good boy," Elsa said with a smile. She patted him on the head before removing it from his mouth. "You ready again, little guy?" She wound her arm back and threw it again.

Olaf didn't budge. Instead he nuzzled her jeans as he always did when he demanded affection.

"Come on now, I took you here to exercise," Elsa said. "You don't need to be needy."

Olaf nuzzled her leg harder. "Oh, alright." Elsa knelt down, which Olaf then proceeded to bump his head into her hand. She scratched him behind the ears. He was lucky that he was her best and only friend.

She rustled Olaf as a person strolled down the path nearby. Elsa held her breath.

"Cute dog," the person said, slowing down.

_Please keep walking, _Elsa thought. She pulled her lips into a small smile. "Thank you."

"What breed is it?"

"He's a French bulldog and corgi mix." Elsa turned her cheek when Olaf tried to lick her face.

Elsa wouldn't know if he was _cute_ cute, per se. Cute in a weird way, sure. He had the typical stocky build of a bulldog but with the snout of a corgi, and with large, bat-like ears. He was also pure white when clean, save for three, vertical black dots on his chest that looked like buttons, and another black dot on his head.

"Interesting. I don't think I've seen that type of dog before."

"People don't normally breed them together," Elsa said.

"Well he's very cute. Have a good day!"

Elsa waved. "You too, ma'am."

The person walked away and her muscles relaxed. She sighed. She was certain that no one would be here this early at dawn. Usually nobody was save for joggers that were too busy running to talk. What other kind of person would be here this early?

_Me…of course._

After letting Olaf play a little more, Elsa hooked him back to his leash. Pine trees lined the path that they walked down.

As she walked, her mind ran with thoughts. Her heart picked up speed at the thought about if Anna would be awake. _Calm down. It is unlikely._

Anna had to be asleep. It wasn't even seven thirty yet.

In the two months that they lived together, Elsa had figured out Anna's schedule. Anna worked day shifts; left the house at eight and arrived back home sometime after five. She'd wake up at seven thirty every morning. Her days off were on Monday and Wednesday. However, on Wednesday, she'd leave the house at some point to go grocery shopping; not at a specific time but generally around noon.

Okay…Elsa was insane.

Anyway, today was a Tuesday, so that meant that Anna had work. It was only six twenty-three, so Elsa had over an hour to spare before Anna woke up.

_Unless she got up early._

Elsa swallowed. No, she couldn't think of that.

However, her stubborn thoughts continued. _She isn't obligated to a routine, _she argued with herself.

She could just imagine it. Elsa would go home to find that Anna was up, brewing herself coffee from the Keurig Anna had brought when she moved in. Anna would look at Elsa, with hurt and anger in her eyes.

"_There you are, Elsa," she'd drip._

_Elsa wouldn't know what to say._

"_I noticed that you read my letter. It was off your door the next morning, so I know you saw it. I know you ignored me!"_

_Elsa would then have to figure out a lie. She'd decide to play dumb. "There was a paper on the door?"_

"_You gaslighting piece of shit!"_

Okay, okay. That was a bad excuse to make. Elsa hummed softly as she thought of a better excuse.

"_I read it and agreed that we should meet," Elsa would say. "But then I got really busy with my job. Sorry about that."_

"_What's your job?" Anna would ask._

"_I'm an illustrator."_

"_So you work from home?"_

_Oh no. Too shaken to think, Elsa would then respond with a simple, honest, "Yes."_

"_Then you could have worked your fucking schedule around to meet me, you rude piece of shit!" Tears would form in Anna's eyes. "Why do you ignore me? Do you hate me? What did I ever do to you?!"_

"_I-!"_

"_I'm done with living with you! I'm moving out! Here's my one month notice!" She would then smack the paper in Elsa's face._

Her stomach twisted. She wanted to puke. Elsa snapped out of it. She shook her head. That was ridiculous.

_Thinking about this is not going to help._ She looked down at Olaf. He was sluggish and needed a drink. They were going home whether she liked it or not.

So she kept pushing herself to her house. It was a feat to do it, but the house was finally in sight. Her skin crawled at the sight of Anna's car.

_She's asleep. Please stop worrying._

She walked up the driveway. Bracing herself, she unlocked the door. Olaf scampered inside. Heart pounding, she remained on the porch, straining her ears for a sign of anyone. After hearing nothing but Olaf's pawsteps scritching against the tile, she slowly inched her way inside.

She picked up Olaf's bowl and filled it with water. She placed it back down and Olaf lapped greedily.

She looked at the clock. It was six forty. She still had time to-

Her thoughts got cut off by the sound of footsteps.

Elsa froze.

At first, she thought that she must be imagining things. After all, people, when in vulnerable states, tend to have their minds play tricks on them. These footsteps, however, were too real. Humming made their way down the stairs as Anna drew closer.

What was she doing up so early?!

No. Now was not the time for questions. She had to think. Where would she go? She couldn't go to her room because it was upstairs and Anna was on the stairs. She had to leave before Anna saw her.

As quietly yet as hurriedly as she could, Elsa escaped the kitchen, eyes darting around to find something- anything- that she could take cover in.

Then she saw it. The bathroom. Particularly, the shower curtain.

Elsa speed-tiptoed to the bathroom. She slipped inside the shower. The smell of soap filled her nostrils. Her muscles twitched with terror.

_Alright, Elsa…just wait for Anna to make her coffee and go to her room, and then you may head back to yours._

"Why, hello, Olaf!" Anna's voice cooed from the kitchen. "How are you, cutie pie?" Olaf's collar rattled from what Elsa guessed was Anna playing with him. A few minutes passed and Elsa was trying not to fidget. She had yet to hear the Keurig brew anything.

Finally, Anna's footsteps made it to her ears again. They were in the living room now. _Please, whatever you're doing, please don't watch the TV._ _Or use the bathroom…. _Her eyes widened and her face paled.

She wanted to slap herself now.

Olaf's pawsteps followed.

"Sorry, Olaf," Anna told him. "You can't follow me. I have to shower before work."

_SHIT!_

Elsa froze, mortified. She peeked through the crack of the curtain to see Anna outside of the bathroom door.

_Please, Olaf…please save me. Scratch on the door and ask to pee. Do anything!_

Olaf simply sat on the carpet, his tongue lolling as Anna walked into the bathroom.

Elsa resisted a sigh.

She whipped her head around, looking for an escape despite there being none. Of course there was none. Anna was standing in the only exit. Unless she crawled out of the window, but Anna was already approaching.

Elsa cussed inwardly again.

Anna shut the door. Elsa thought that she would pass out from how fast her heart pounded. She felt like a rabbit escaping a predator.

_Alright, Elsa, think! _she thought to herself. Anna placed her towel on the toilet. _You can't just stay in the shower!_

She felt so trapped. She wanted to cry.

And then it happened.

Anna yanked the curtain open.

The scream was horrific. It was a loud, shrill scream that rang through Elsa's ears and probably the neighborhood.

Elsa darted out of the shower faster than a beam of light on crack.

She was almost out of the door when something heavy rammed into the side of her head. She hit the floor along with a full bottle of shampoo, and before she could even process her fall, a foot struck her stomach, knocking the air out of her.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU-! _Elsa?!_" Anna fell from her stance and stepped back. Her eyes were wide; crazed with alarm. They made contact with Elsa's for the first time in two months. "What were you _doing_ in there? Are you okay?"

"I'm…fine," Elsa murmured. She tottered to her feet, pain shooting in her abdomen. There was no doubt that she was going to get a bruise. "I was just…" She dug into her mind. "Cleaning the shower." She tried not to cringe after saying that.

There weren't even any cleaning supplies out! What was she cleaning it with, the water that wasn't even on?!

"Oh. Okay. Sorry about that."

"Please don't worry about it," Elsa said. She studied the tile. "Have a good shower…."

"You too. I mean- when you do shower. Obviously you're not in the shower _right now_, but you were, but next time you're in the shower."

"Okay." She realized that she had slowly been stepping back. Her hand clutched the doorknob. "I'll see you later."

"See you."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Elsa left the bathroom. She sped-walk to her room, screaming internally.


	3. Watercolors

**Chapter Three: Watercolors**

_Nine years ago…._

_Today, you are going to make friends._

Elsa's stomach fluttered. She couldn't tell if it was from anxiety or excitement. When she felt her skin dampen, she wanted to slap herself.

_Don't feel it. Today, you are going to make friends. _The pep talk only made her hands shake more around the steering wheel. _Please control yourself. You have to do this. If you want to be happy, you have to do this._

For a long time now, Elsa had researched ways to make friends. She had read about the conversations that she'd need to initiate, the body language that she should express and where she should look for friends. However, despite her research, she never had the nerve to apply it.

Today, that would change. Whether she liked it or not.

Elsa drove down the bustling streets. Traffic was normally an annoyance, but this time it provided comfort, since it bought her more time to rehearse.

"_Hi. My name is Elsa. What is your name?" _Elsa pretended to say. She imagined someone giving her their name. _"It's nice to meet you, Name. Would you like to sit with me?"_

_No, no, no. Hold on, _Elsa told herself. _Don't be too immediate. What if they don't want to sit with you? Or worse, what if they produce an excuse to not do it? What if you don't notice them beating around the bush and then you make things awkward?_

"_It's nice to meet you, Name." Okay…so do I just…wait for them to say something?_

_Of course I do. _Elsa sighed. Right…part of making friends meant having conversation with them first. Conversations were one of the things that she _couldn't_ rehearse.

_Maybe I should leave._ The parking lot was right in front of her. Her hands twitched, not sure if she should turn. _No! You have to make friends! You're nineteen years old and your youth is dwindling away. If you don't make friends now, then you never will._

She took a deep breath and pulled in.

_Present day…._

Elsa couldn't believe what had happened.

She shuddered for the millionth time, remembering what happened. So…that was her first impression. Just being fully clothed…in the shower…and frightening Anna to the point that she got assaulted.

She ended up having to rewind the YouTube video that she was watching. It was some cat compilation and right now, a cat had a tissue box stuck to its head. Elsa had hoped that it would provide a distraction, but her mind continued to wander to how mortified she was.

She slowly sipped on her dinner: a peach cup and a Gatorade. She ran out of spoons to use, so she had to slurp the fruit out like a heathen. At least nobody could see her be like this. All of her curtains were shut to the point that the only way she knew the time was from the clock on her laptop.

Ever since the day when she nearly starved, she had stocked up on non-refrigerated food and drinks. Granola bars, fruit cups, Gatorades and water bottles sat in the corner by her closet.

It was sometime after five when she heard a car pull into the driveway. A door opened from downstairs. Elsa sighed and placed her empty cup down. She turned up the volume on her headphones.

Behind the audio, there was a knock on her door. Elsa pulled the headphones off and let them fall around her neck. The door knocked again. The video's sound faintly emitted from her headphones.

"Elsa?"

Elsa didn't know what to say. She wanted to pretend that she wasn't home, but it was obvious that she was. Her car was parked outside. She could pretend that she was asleep, but she didn't know if Anna would buy it.

She swallowed. It took so much courage to push out a painful, "Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

_Absolutely not. _If Anna saw how Elsa lived, she would judge her even more than the fact that Elsa creeped in the shower. The trash hadn't been taken out in days, there was her food stash, the bed was unmade and it was as dark as night in here.

_Let me clean up first, _she wondered if she should say. Then she shook that thought out. That would just prove that she lived horribly.

"Hold on one moment," Elsa said instead. She walked to her windows and slid the curtains open, letting light stream inside. God, it looked even worse now.

Elsa simply cracked the door open. Anna stiffened. Oh no. Was Elsa frowning too much?

"Do you need something?" Elsa asked, as nonchalantly as she could. Unfortunately, she wasn't proud of the wording.

"I just wanted to apologize for hitting you earlier. Are you okay?"

"I'm doing fine," Elsa lied. Her head still hurt and, beneath her shirt, her stomach had a huge bruise on it.

Anna nodded. "Okay. That's good. It just scared me, was all."

"Sorry for scaring you," Elsa returned.

She smiled. "Don't worry about it."

Well…at least Anna didn't look mad or creeped out. She looked…more relieved that anything.

And then…an alien feeling bubbled in Elsa. It was like she was more…_relaxed_, or something. Her muscles were still tense, but her mind wasn't running with thoughts anymore. What was this?

Anna looked at her. "Hey…if it's okay to ask…I have a question."

Well there went the feeling. "Yes?"

"Weed is legal here, right?"

_Um…what…?_ Elsa's face flushed. That was a wild change in topic.

Elsa squirmed inside herself. "Yes?" she managed to push out in a slight squeak.

"Really? Because I was in Silverdale and I found this store that sells weed products."

Silverdale was the town away from theirs. "Yes, weed is legal here." _What am I saying?_ Elsa's ears were on fire. Why was she telling Anna this? Why was there that bright, intrigued look in Anna's eyes?

What was Anna planning? To smoke in Elsa's house?! Did she think that Elsa was a pothead who was too stoned to leave her room?! Was this an invite to do drugs together?! What about that vow in middle school?

_That's just an excuse to not be a fool in front of her._

Pink crept across Anna's freckled cheeks. "I was just wondering because I just moved here and there's a lot I don't know yet, so…you know…I just thought I should ask."

_Where did you move from?_ was the thing that Elsa should have said…but in the moment, she refused to say it. She had to leave this conversation even if she'd feel guilty later.

"Have you tried weed?"

_SHE'S GETTING ONTO YOU!_ Elsa took a step back.

"No," Elsa said. It was the truth but...it sounded so fake. _Get yourself together, please_.

"I see. Well thank you!"

Elsa forced on a smile. "Anytime." _She probably thinks that you do worse drugs than marijuana. I mean…look at you. You're so pale…with bags under your eyes…so sickly looking. Isn't that what meth users look like?_

"See you." Anna walked away and Elsa closed the door. Elsa leaned against it, her pulse thudding in her neck.

In the age of drug friendliness, she had to remind herself to never talk to people again.

_Nine years ago…_

Elsa wanted to run. She wanted to bolt back to her car and drive back to her parent's house before anyone could see her. Instead, she pushed herself forward, step by painful step.

_You can do this. You will meet people and you can finally be happy._

Someone giggled behind her. Elsa jumped and whipped around to see a couple girls walking together. Were they laughing at her?

Elsa had tried to look nice for today…but then, at last minute, she had changed into something more casual just in case. She went from wearing a sweater, skirt and leggings to simply wearing a pullover and jeans. Her makeup was natural and would pass as a normal face, just…less hideous. As much as she wanted to look pretty, a part of her worried that it would give her more attention than she wanted.

But now she was regretting it all over again. What if a pullover and jeans looked stupid?

Worst of all, she had no time to change back.

_You idiot._

She walked across the campus, her muscles tense and her eyes fixed on the ground. Rain pattered on top of her umbrella and rippled against the shimmering cement. She had made the awful choice of using her smaller umbrella because she didn't want to be seen lugging around her larger one. But now, as a result, only her head was dry.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…._

Luckily for her stupidity, the building wasn't too far from where she parked. She dashed under the shaded area and shook her umbrella dry before folding it back up. She went inside, terror quaking inside of her.

_You are here. There is no turning back._

The pep talk only made her feel worse. Regardless, she continued pushing herself forward. The closer she grew to the classroom, the more painful each step became.

She should just run.

_Don't think about it. You are here. You have to do this._

She had to remind herself that she wasn't here for her comfort. She was here for her happiness, and the only way to achieve that happiness was to make friends. She had to do this.

Unless she didn't deserve to be happy.

She was bound to mess up. An accident waiting to happen didn't deserve friends, right?

Elsa continued pushing herself forward. Until, at long, but unwanted last, the classroom stood in front of her.

Elsa swallowed. She drew her shaking hand toward the doorknob. She took a deep breath. _You can do this. Think about the friends you will make._ And with that, she slowly turned the knob. The door clicked open and she pulled it forward.

Everyone turned their head to her.

Elsa froze in the doorway. _Act natural. _She forced on a tight smile and gave a small wave. _Stop! Who waves at a classroom?! _Her smile faltered and her gaze returned to the ground. She slipped inside, pushing through the sea of students. There was a seat in the back corner. She sat down in it, her face on fire.

"Why hello!" the leader said from the front. He was a slim student in his early twenties and with dark hair. All of the students looked back at her. Her face grew even hotter. "Welcome to art club! We were just getting started."

"S-sorry. There was traffic," Elsa squeaked.

"Don't worry about it. However, we will need to see your student ID."

Elsa cussed in her head. Her hands shook. _Please sit still. You're embarrassing yourself._ Stiffening the muscles in her arms, she carefully opened her backpack and pulled out her ID.

"Very good," he said. "Sorry about that. It's part of the rules. I haven't seen you around before."

"I take online classes…."

"I see. How do you like the campus?"

_Please stop talking to me, _she thought."It's nice."

Eventually the leader stopped talking to her. Students chattered until, about a minute later, the leader said, "Let's get started!"

He began explaining what the art club was about and what the students would do in it. Elsa tried to listen. Her mind, however, kept drifting away to how much she shook and blushed.

_Please…please control yourself._

"And now we're going to introduce ourselves."

Elsa's eyes widened. She wanted to throw up.

"Here's how we'll do it: You'll say your name, your major, your year and what your favorite medium is. I'll start with mine-"

"_Elsa, illustration, freshman; watercolor," _Elsa rehearsed in her head. _Okay…you can do this._

"Girl in the back by the window!"

Elsa's eyes widened again. She looked around to realize that he was talking to her. Again?! Did he hate her or something?

"Would you care to start?"

A bead of sweat pooled on Elsa's temple. But she nodded.

He smiled.

"I-"

"Oh and I forgot to mention something, sorry. Don't forget to stand up so everyone can see you."

"Right…." Elsa pushed her chair back and rose up. "M-my…" _Stop stuttering, _she thought. "My name is Elsa. I'm a freshman and my major is illustration." The kids hummed and nodded. "And my favorite medium is…."

_Watercolor. Just say watercolor._

Elsa wondered how red her face was. She unclenched her fists, but it only made them shake more.

_Say it, please. You're hesitating._

Elsa took a deep breath, ready to push the word out.

But wait…what if watercolor was a stupid medium?

What if everyone thought _she_ was stupid for liking watercolors?

What if she was a terrible artist for liking watercolors? What if she didn't belong here?

The confused, waiting, albeit encouraging looks on everyone's faces made her shudder. Maybe they were even pitying her.

They would pity her even more if she said watercolors, right?

_Can you at least lie? _But what was a good lie? Chalk? Acrylics? Ink?

_You are ridiculous. So ridiculous. Just say watercolor! Look at yourself…being this liar; this dishonest scum._

Elsa looked away. "S-sorry. I'm just…." _Just what? You're ruining it!_

"Take your time," the teacher said.

_You're toxic. You are a liar. You're a piece of shit that doesn't deserve friends._

_Piece of shit._

_Piece of shit._

_Piece of shit._

_Abusive, disgusting piece of shit._

"Sorry."

And with that, Elsa ran away.

She didn't look back. She rushed from the building and back into the rain. She didn't even open her umbrella. She just kept running, and running, and running, as quiet sobs shuddered in her breath. Rain dampened her hair and dripped down her face, mixing with the tears and makeup.

Once the parking lot was in sight, she rushed to her car. She crawled inside and shut the door, throwing herself into safety all over again. Relief washed over her for a couple seconds, now that she was finally free from that trial.

And then…tears formed in her eyes again. Her lip trembled and her vision swam, flooding the world into indiscernible, watery colors.

She burst into sobs, her tears spilling out of her like a flooded river. She leaned into the steering wheel, tears plopping onto it as she shielded her face from view with her arms. Her shoulders quaked over her.

_I'm never going to be happy, am I…?_

If only she didn't need people. Life would be so much easier that way.

But…was that even possible? She wanted support. She wanted things to look forward to. She wanted to be able to share the world with other people. To laugh with others, to spend time with others; to feel human.

That need for those things did nothing but hurt her. It was what made her cry at night, what made her cry right now; what made the world so bleak. Life would be so much easier without those feelings.

Could there ever be a day where she wouldn't need people?

She hoped that one day, that could be possible.


End file.
